Day 31: The Final Nod

The night brought no more queries or responses. Or actually, it brought one response: No, from one of my invitees. Somehow, I'm not surprised. Hence, the totals remain the same as yesterday. I won't bother to repeat them.

This is the part where I do Schindler's List, where I think, If I'd only tried harder. Schindler wondered what if he'd given up his ring and his car to save people. I wonder if, maybe, instead of contacting three people a day, I'd contacted twelve. Or if I'd spent more time on Facebook trying to get people to come back to Friendster. Or if I'd contacted twenty people a day. Or thirty? How much time, how many people, is enough? When do you know you've truly tried hard--enough? When is it time to quit?

I wonder myself sometimes in regard to dating. So many queries. So many women asked out. So many rejections. Do I fail because I don't try hard enough? Or would it not matter at all? There's a particular singles Web site among people of my faith that I used to frequent. At one point, I'm pretty certain I'd written every single woman on that site, at least of close to my age. Most didn't respond. The few that did either disappeared after a few e-mails or grew into friends but not much more. Try harder? But where? How? Sometimes, it feels like I've exhausted every resource.

On Friendster, of course, there are more resources because there are more people. Try hard enough long enough, I might have found someone who actually was into using it--and not just using it with me. I mean, it's popular in Asia apparently--I could have wandered into the Asian realm and had penpals from the Philliphines galore perhaps. But among Americans, it seemed the wrong place to look for connections, and had I found such connections, I don't know that they would have had so much appeal to me or I to them. A few messages, and we likely would have parted. Such is the difficulty in making friends, virtual or otherwise.