Day 21

Last night I called a friend who I had Friendster mailed a few weeks before. I hadn't heard from him since he moved six weeks ago. He told me, when I called, that he's been thinking about me just that day. You see, he'd been looking at his MySpace account and thinking about getting rid of it, because all he uses now is Facebook. (It's true--people are migrating!) But then, there was me--I wasn't on Facebook, but I was on MySpace, and how to keep in touch with me. But I am on Facebook, I told him--look me up. I also told him that I had Friendster messaged him. He laughed. He hadn't been on Friendster in years. Sigh. He doesn't even know when he has messages there. Anyway, best of all, I noted, was just e-mail. You see, other than Friendster (for this month at least), I don't really use the social networking software, so the best way to get in touch with me is via e-mail.

To me a networking site should be about networking, about meeting new people, not about simply networking with folks you already know. I don't want broadcast messages--or to create broadcast messages--for people who are my actual friends. I want the personal touch. The one-to-one message. I think that in part is what I don't enjoy about the network software, where these six-word comments stand in for real communication. E-mail, of course, can be the same way. But the difference is that it can also be substantive, and that is, I suppose, the way I usually use it. Some have said that I write real letters. There are paragraphs. There is usually at least a page, sometimes many pages, of a given correspondence.

Maybe the problem, then, for me is that I haven't really settled into the digital communication age. Nevertheless, I try--by contacting three new Friendster people each day. The totals are now as follows: twenty-three Friendster friends written, two replies; fourteen acquaintances written or added as friends, one reply; five invitations extended, one acceptance; twenty-five strangers written, no replies; three profile views; two added friends.