Day 14

I got a publication rejection slip today. It had been a while. I need one of those once every few weeks to confirm that I still exist, that I'm still alive. If I don't get one every now and then, I begin to think that I exist in some kind of void, that I send words out but only into nothingness--no audience at the other end. I feel like I'm a radio wave that has hit the end of the solar system and is now just out in the ether, wandering around, no one even confirming that I carry nothing worthy of being read by a larger mass of people. But today, I got my confirmation that is so. I feel vindicated. I'd begun to doubt it--I hadn't heard from anyone in about a month or so, it seemed. All this mail and e-mail sent out and ignored, simply deleted or tossed. Or was it?

If it weren't for my one Friendster friend who wrote back three times, I think I'd have begun by now to wonder whether Friendster even worked--if maybe my "messages" were simply going off to some electronic netherworld. That's right--no responses to day. I'm still at twenty-eight friends and two profile views. It's like I'm in some sci-fi film, the last man on earth, and the only person I can get messages from is myself. But I tried again anyway today to break through. Is anyone out there? Today, I wrote to one more Friendster friend and one acquaintance, and I tried to add yet another acquaintance as a friend. Will these messages get through? If a Friendster message is sent out and no one receives it, was there a message at all?

The totals now stand at sixteen Friendster friends written, replies from two; ten acquaintances written or added as friends, one reply; five invitations extended, no replies; fifteen strangers written, no replies; two profile views.